Monday, September 23, 2013

on motherhood..


note blurred picture as a symbol of the newborn haze (also it's from my iphone) 
but it's the one I wanted to use for this post for all that it represents 
of those special, difficult, joyous and exhausting days. 



Motherhood, that's a big topic, huh!  

I'm writing this post, not to cover motherhood entirely, I'm no expert and the enormity of that is just way beyond me, argh the spectrum here is extreme to say the least!  I am writing it because my sister in law has just recently had her first baby.

As the big sister to my brother and mumma of four, I'd like to be able to help wherever I can.  To drop in the odd meal, have more than the odd cuddle of the newborn and to offer advice when it is sought. It's hard though, the offering of advice.  What I have come to realise after four babies and hearing other mumma stories over the years, is that we are forever learning and trying to find our way, and it changes from one child to the next.

What I want to tell this sweet, dedicated beautiful new mum, is that we are all just working it out as we go..still! Every child is different, and after every child each mother is different.  We all continue to grow and learn as each day dawns and each new phase begins.  The learning is endless.

There is no right or wrong.  There is only what works for you at the time.  If your newborn wants to feed constantly and you are able to accommodate, then do.  If you need to get things done and can't face another feed so soon, then look at other options.

All of our situations are so variable, they change all the time, especially with additional children to tend to.  But first time round, listen.  Listen to your baby.  Listen to your body.  Listen to your heart.  Listen and be a tune to what is happening around you and do what feels right, for you.

Some days you will do nothing more than sit and feed and hold your baby all day long.  Other days you will shower and cook a meal and maybe even leave the house!  It's all so unpredictable, but if you can, just appreciate each day for whatever it presents.  Don't have expectations and don't be disheartened when things don't go as you'd hoped.

Know you are doing a wonderful job on the good days and the bad.  Be kind to yourself, and know that none of us are experts, no matter how in control and well balanced we may appear.  None of us have all the answers, and none of us are in a position to judge or be judged.

We are mothers.  We have been given the greatest privilege to be doing the greatest job in the world. It's hard work, and believe it or not, it really does get harder the older they become, just like they say it does..and I'm only 12 years in!

Love them.  Listen to them.  Be there for them.  When people offer their words of wisdom, take only what works for you.  Enjoy the good days and the hard days, for those newborn days are over within the blink of an eye.  You know what, you will never be an expert and you will always question your ability, decisions and parenting style. Lets not even talk about the guilt!

What I'd like to say most sincerely from the depths of my heart, is welcome to motherhood you glorious, capable, wonderful woman!

...and I am here whenever you need, and for whatever you need, always x 

8 comments:

  1. So perfectly said......blessing sweet Momma!
    Heidi

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  2. Yes, perfect words. Motherhood is all about finding what works for you and trusting your instincts. Enjoy your beautiful babies. x

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  3. Hi Mel, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
    http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/

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  4. What a beautiful welcome to new motherhood. How I would have loved to hear something like that when I held my firstborn in my arms. x

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  5. The best words of advice I ever got were from a midwife while Iwas struggling with feeding my second baby.... She told me that babies need love more than food and if I had to, choose love and put him on a bottle. It removed all the guilt and allowed me to really enjoy those early weeks.

    Your words are lovely and just what all new mothers need to be told, when emotions and confidence are fragile.

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  6. Mel......this gave me goosebumps! You have summarised motherhood in all its glory and in all its difficulty so well. Your sister in law is blessed to have you. Melinda x

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  7. i have tears from this amazing post. it is the truth, in all it's beauty and honesty. xx

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hello! thanks so much for visiting x