Friday, February 18, 2011

rules...


So it's a new school year.  A new school year always has it's share of teething problems, a settling in period.  New teachers, new classmates, more challenges and new rules....

I'm a rules girl, I always have been.  My big boy is definitely a rules boy.  This need for structure, order & rules must have kicked in at about 2yrs I'd say because as a baby he did NOT follow any rules & had this first time mama in a spin!  Though, as a toddler, when my girlfriends & I would catch up weekly with our babies & we'd laugh at how the big boy would be ensuring everyone was safe, doing the right thing, no standing on tables or chewing on small objects, not on his watch! We'd have a chuckle about how he'd grow up as the school monitor, the prefect in later years, and then the sensible chaperon in their teens...

As he grew, his need for order & structure continued.  We've had to throw caution to the wind a little, not get too bogged down with planning ahead, being a bit spontaneous as he was putting way too much pressure on himself.  He's a good kid, hates to ever do the wrong thing, would never intentionally do the wrong thing and last night my big boy broke down in tears, sobbing his little broken heart out because he was issued a 'blue' slip at school.  Apparently this new 'blue' slip is your first warning, and according to my boy when you get 3 'blue' slips the government has to be involved & parents are called to the principles office...and, well, we don't know what happens beyond that point! 

Absolutely devastated, my boy explained to me that he received the 'blue' slip for playing tiggy in a non-tiggy playing area.  A new rule.  A new rule that he was not aware of.  We talked about it in depth and he was eventually able to go to sleep feeling less criminal.  At what point do you go to the school and say something?  Rules are rules.  I understand that they are trying to be more forceful early on, but is this a little extreme?  One of my little grade 1 boys mates is so afraid of the new rules that he actually sits in the assembly area all lunch time to avoid doing anything wrong or being late!  

I made a point of speaking to my big boys teacher this morning.  Panic set in just a bit as I knocked on the classroom door.  Am I being overprotective?  Should I just let the dust settle before I go on in & question the running of the school?  I went on in explaining how completely devastated my boy was to be in trouble, how he couldn't comprehend how he'd gone from being a class representative last year to a 'naughty' kid so quickly.  I don't like to complain, but when my child is so distressed, you have to do something, surely!  I explained that we have accepted this 'blue' slip, all be it a little extreme and I suggested they revisit the new school rules to ensure the kids are all very clear on the expectations. 

I love our school & I have been very supportive and really quite impressed with the changes that have been made and the emphasis on our school values, but the last thing you want is the good kids loosing faith in the system they've always taken such pride in...   

12 comments:

  1. I think you absolutely did the right thing speaking to his teacher. I agree the school took their rules a bit too far on this occasion - I understand it's hard to draw the line sometimes, but this seems a bit extreme! Hope it all sorts itself out!

    http://www.jembellish.blogspot.com/

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  2. You are totally right. Your poor boy. I hope he recovers from it ok. I'm sure the school will take note of your recommendations. x

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  3. Beautifully written post, Mel. I hear you. I understand completely how you feel and how upset your boy is. It is best to talk about it with his teacher before it blew up to a bigger issue. Also good to establish some rapport now. I have a daughter who mulls over things and takes them very seriously. She needs a tender hand, lots of listening and encouragement to talk about it. So far so good - high school is suiting her down to the ground!

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  4. You did right Mel in talking to his teacher about it. I can totally understand how your little boy must be feeling. Big Hugs.

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  5. i have already been in the office at our school twice complaining about lack of communication. school has only been on for two weeks, right? if they didn't know me before, they know me now. go mama. get involved.

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  6. Our oldest sons are so much alike only we call him careful Harold...we just had something similar for him in high school in swimming the teacher called for attention and Jeremy was just standing there but he removed his goggles and rinsed them in the water because they had fogged up and he wanted to be ready when the teacher was done talking....you can see he had to have his ducks in a row and ready to go....he lost all his credits for the day and has to make it up on his own time....he was also made to do all the routine over. Talk about mad but I did nothing because I know I would have started to cry ,your my hero....what did he or she say? supportive?

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  7. poor little guy! a blue slip, really, very tough me thinks.
    we are new to the school caper so not sure what happens..anxiously waiting.

    well done on saying something, rules need to be revisited so to remind the kids.

    my girl is a little sensitive to being questioned for something that isn't her fault so I am really careful with that.
    they are just too young to be so distressed.

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  8. Oh Mel, I hear you!
    I have so much to say, too much for a comment box.
    I do think though that its really important to be in communication with the school. I've had issues like this come up and often its quite easy to fix or change or explain.
    I have told my kids that I don't mind if they get in trouble as long as its not for being disrespectful or rude.
    That little kid sitting there too scared to play breaks my heart.

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  9. Yes i agree you did the right thing :-)

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  10. I totally agree with you. My son got in trouble for kneeling the other day when apparently the rule is to sit cross legged! So many rules, even I get confused. That poor little chap who's too scared to play, that's just not right.

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  11. Good on you for speaking up!

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